Depression?

Almost everytime that I on my msn, my friend left offline messages for me and I found the same pattern of the message. The messages were all so depressing and heart-broken. She send in messages to me stating that she had trouble with works and it’s difficult for her to control her EQ. She admitted to me that she is extremely depressed and sad over some misunderstanding at work as well as at her own family matters. I, of course, cannot comment well for family matters…as in I am an outsider who can only view from outside. I might see clearer as I am not involved, but I might as well not understand better because I am not involved as well. That’s why I would not give further recommendation or my own judgement towards that subject.

Well, for the working depression on the other hand, is a different matter. I do advise to my friend as in think of leaving the organisation, since it did not do her goodness.  Somehow, she prefer to stay for a little bit longer, even though I had recommended her to become a jumper to hoop to other organisation. Yes,,,yes…maybe that’s something that a friend should not suggest and shut up…but as I had seen her to be suffering for the job that she faced a lot of word harassment by senior colleagues, tense working environment, bored with the same situation everyday…and most importantly, felt depressing more and more each day; I guess to ask her to switch a job environment is not a bad idea at all.

I know sometimes, we face difficulties and we needed someone to talk with as well. But as we had already listened to numerous time and it still looks like a neverending story, I kind of feels bored as well. I am bored and sick of it because I had already voice out possibilities of steps to be taken…It is not that I am not listening anymore. It is not that I am not giving any comment anymore. But it just happen to me that I do not think I am suitable to listen to it anymore. I am a human too, whereby I am not trained to take in people’s difficulties and privacies in a professional way. I am only a learner as well. Maybe I did pop out with some extraordinary comments that sometimes helped or maybe the exact opposite. Maybe I can listen to a lot of it, and can even made a conclusion for the situation as well. But who am I? I am just an ordinary person as well. I am build by flesh and blood. I can get tired of listening to frustration of even disastifaction. I am just another human being. I am sorry if I did not react as a real good friend. Maybe I am too tired to see depression. Maybe I, myself is also in depression.

Whatever it is, if you are reading this, my friend…forgive me for putting you up as a story.Forgive me as I could not lend in helping hands, forgive me for not being there with you, and forgive me for not being real to you. Maybe you sensed it, or maybe not. It does not matter to me as in, I might had not treated you good at the time you needed me most, but I also did not treat you bad.  Hopefully, as far as we are still in touch; I will try to share your depression…just that don’t share too much with me…I afraid I myself could not bear the burden…I am also another human being who can made mistakes.

I hope you would not depress yourself for long. Take care and remember that not only I will be standing at your side, but also think of your family and other friends that care for you as well.

Gardasil

The name Gardasil seems clueless to me when I first saw it. I didn’t know what it was exactly until I saw another synonym of it as cervical cancer vaccine.  Thanks to Yen Leng, I became very much aware of it after it launch at December 2007. Of course the news was out at The Star newspaper, but I didn’t not bear in mind as soon as I saw it was about RM 500 per jab and the whole vaccination needed three jab. There was once, the women association and MAKNA made a promotion price as RM 999 for 3 jabs. I am not so sure when was this promotion held, and I do not think that promotion will still be available now. Well, after a short msn chatting with Yen Leng, I do felt that I actually really wanted the vaccination, it’s just a matter of cost and money. So, I asked around the surrounding area’s clinics for the vaccination pricing. Lastly, this Polyclinics and Surgery Tan at Taipan has it. It costed the same as the one suggested by Yen Leng, RM 380 per jab. Well, I had made a thought of why not get it as soon as possible, since the vaccination for age 9-26. There is another vaccination for those age 26 and above. I didn’t recall the name, but if you are above age 26, you may ask the doctor to give you that vaccination.

So, there I go, got an injection of that Gardasil for the cervical cancer vaccination. Well, prevention is better than cure. I had a history of getting a sudden weird cyst, and my family background didn’t support it at all. It means, I had the cyst at my own risk, it’s not inheritance. In this case, I need some medical technology protection to make sure I lesser the possibilities due to the incident at year 2005 which made me a high risker in female illness. But, thanks God, I am fine and by the blessings, I will continue to be fine.

To those who wanted to get themselves this vaccination…please do so, if you can afford it. I suggested this prevention, it will be good enough…since the protection is against the most 4 common types of HPV in cervical cancer patient. Think about it.

Pap smear might have to be done as a precaution step and also for the doctor’s record before the vaccination, if one has been sexually active or has had sex before… Doctors might suggest digital reading of pap smears to those who plan to take the vaccine…most private hospitals will go digital, but some still prefer analog…it depends. Whichever the methods, a pap smear is still the best way cervical cancer detection.

Here is another link for more information about cervical cancer vaccination.

L.O.V.E

There is a saying…”the worst thing that can happen to one in the world, is not that one had lost their almost everything; but is to be near to someone that they love most yet they can not confess and to be with their love ones…”

How far would one wait for the chance to come? Or will they create the chance to them? What will we do, when we could not say out to them, that we love them the most. How would they know, if we did not tell? Are we afraid of loosing them when we tell the truth? Are we afraid to get the rejection when we confess? Are we giving up before even a try? The world is cruel, yet is gentle. There is miracle. Whenever we put the trust of seeing wonders; believe it and it shall bring us forward.  How often that we say ‘I love you’ to our loved ones? How often we hurt their feelings and never meant for an apologise? How often we tend to neglect and regret later? Maybe we are or are  not realising, but the world keep spinning with every minutes and seconds clicking… Have we truly understand ourselves? No, I have not. What about you?

Will non-malay benefit when malay unite?

When Malays unite, non-Malays also benefit?

It is such a shame for a minister to say out this statement while in a press conference. How can he state like that? ‘When Malays unite…is that means now Malays are totally not united and back-stabbing each other? ‘Non-Malays also benefit…is that means we can have the same previlledge as “Malay-Malaysian” and not being treated secondly as “Non-Malay-Malaysian”? Every now and then people from other country labelling us…regardless whatever races you are that is from Malaysia as Malaysian. They didn’t called the Malay in Malaysia as Malay-Malaysian, they didn’t called the Chinese in Malaysia as Chinese-Malaysian, they didn’t called Indian in Malaysia as Indian-Malaysian, they only know us as one…which are Malaysians. So, what the heck on earth that our Government makes it so distinguished? Is that they want to show to the whole Malaysia and also the whole that Malaysia is Malays only, other than that isn’t Malaysian. Is that they want to tell to us, those non-Malays as you are only second class citizens, so we do not need you to unite within Malay-Malaysians?

Lim Kit Siang made a good point out at the same time, whereby he is just trying to ask for explanation on behalf of the non-Malays that had been labelled by the Government. Why is it the Malay Unity and not Malaysian Unity? This is another issue caused by the G and not by the opposition. They are the one who put out the label of malays and non-malays so clearly that it indicated to us that those who are not malay in Malaysia aren’t actually Malaysian. They had shown to us by making the statement in the first link.

How hilarious it will be, when a foreigner read this head line? In the time whereby Tun Dr. Mahathir was the Malaysia’s former prime minister, he fought tremendously for eliminating the apartheid by the white towards the black in South Africa. Even though by that time, it was also involving sensitive issue as it was a racist issue over the other half of the world, apartheid eventually abolished in the 1990s. Could you imagine that once, Malaysia representative had voice out so loudly for the release of Nelson Mandela, and now the current Malaysias’ issue shown that the existency of ‘apartheid’ towards those non-malays by the malays.

Is that the way? Why there aren’t any actions by the G to promotes unity among different races in Malaysia? They didn’t really show a role model as well. What’s the purpose to put UMNO, MCA, MIC and etc and the named them as BN? It is such a waste of time for us to trust that by this kind of formation, we can get a better Malaysia. NO, it ISN’T. It only works during ancient times, whereby we need to prove that we can be independence and we are indeed showing our truly Malaysian by the time we asked for independence. Can we notice the changes? Everytime, we are told that they are malays, and they are non-malays, we aren’t told or taught as-we are Malaysians!

Although I can say that I am lucky enough to have to know and get along well with some other races in Malaysia, some aren’t as lucky as I am. They are being taught to differenciate one another very well, and you can notice the sequence of it, when you are looking of the ratio of enrolment in ‘kebangsaan’ school compare to ‘jenis kebangsaan’ school. Only a handful of the non-malays parents will send their children to ‘kebangsaan’ school, and the rest of the non-malays will send their children to ‘jenis kebangsaan’ school. As assumed, they shared a common ’silent afraid’ in their heart-which is afraid of ’supermacy’ from the Malays in ‘kebangsaan’ school; non-malays in that school might be treated as second class citizen in school. Note that I write out MIGHT…as some didn’t applicable.

I can’t deny that there are also Malays that shared the same thoughts as the non-Malays…as they might be wondering why must there be a rule or acts specially for the Malays’ previlledge or why must there be a unity talk for Malays as if the Malays are united at all.

Modern society of Malaysians needs not the differenciation of Malays and Non-Malays. We needs Malaysians…and Malaysians alone…why can’t the G understand it and get alive…Look into the future, and not at the past… The past was once there, but now gone as history, if we needed to taste Malaysia’s glory, we needs Malaysian’s unity… and not just one race’s unity.

Frankly speaking, will the non-malays benefit when malays unite? Do you believe in such phrase?

I don’t as in I believe this is a propaganda by the G for the G’s sake, not wholly for the rakyat’s sake.

The search…and search…

The search and search and search…and the search continues…

When will this end? When will the search end? When there is just a flash light to be seen in the darkness, sudden movement closes all. Now hiding in the darkest valley, with almost no help and almost no hope, how could the search continue on? Will there be any sign of light and hope? The acts of waiting patiently seems to be a way, but it is not a deal.

Sometimes even efforts had been poured out, it were not giving any remedy,

Sometimes even sincerities had been given out, it were not making any guarantee,

Sometimes even heart gets a struck, and it takes long to recovery,

Sometimes even time makes it hard, and it is a life-long journey.

Found something interesting while browsing through the web (actually browsing bio-forum ‘language column’). Take a look at this and this.

Realize

Colbie Caillat Realize
Songwriters: Caillat, Colby; Reeves, Jason; Blue, Mikal;

(Credit to : http://www.metrolyrics.com/realize-lyrics-colbie-caillat.html and http://www.youtube.com)
Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you.

But I can’t spell it out for you,
You know it’s never gonna be that simple
No I can’t spell it out for you

[Chorus:]
If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we’d be perfect for each other
And we’ll never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We’d never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I’m on your side
Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn’t I tell you

But I can’t spell it out for you,
You know it’s never gonna be that simple
No I can’t spell it out for you.

[Chorus:]
If you just realized what I just realized
Then we’d be perfect for each other
And we’d never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We’d never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other but.

It’s not all the same
No it’s never the same
If you don’t feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

[Chorus:]
If you just realize what I just realized
Then we’d be perfect for each other
And we’d never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We’d never have to wonder

Just realize what I just realized…

If you just realize what I just realized…

OoOoOOo

Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now

Realize, realize
Realize, realize

Congraz ^^,

Well, news spread very fast and indeed speeding. Iris told me that she had checked her result via online yesterday after she got a message from C.Wen. While Iris was driving us to Monash, she told that she obtained second upper. Great. It’s good. Of course, who don’t want first class; but second upper is also a great point. So, I guessed as in the standard varient curve, most will be given second upper and some might just be just nice and some will be at the first class category. Not bad, just as I thought, I heard that there is maybe only one who scored as first class (from until this very moment, my news was not that fresh as I don’t care about the rest other than Stacey’s students) Okok..Lets Back to the talk.

So, in conclusion, Stacey’s students scored Second Upper. And…Congratulations.Congratulation for the achievements.

Back at then, there is one incident that happened at the pool site was quite insane. Psycho. Both Iris and I went up from the pool the latest as we were quite late compare to the rest whom had went towards the washroom to clean up. While Iris and I were walking towards the ladies, there was this guy walk out from the Men’s and standing at the door without anything on! Ok…He is naked…NAKED! He walked back in to hide or I don’t think he is hiding, he purposely wanna show to both Iris and I. He walked at the door way again while we were approaching near. After walking into the ladies, I asked Iris about that Psycho acts and she also noticed it. Ok..who won’t noticed it as in he flashed out twice and without anything on. Sigh…

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male extinction in IPTA

I can’t help myself to make this blog after I read this news of male extinction in IPTA.

I read it at Kosmo! Online-Varia : Lelaki Pupus di IPTA

After reading it, I found that the AP that they interviewed still have lack of knowledge in the real situation. (even though he is AP, so what?)

The low ratio of male/female in local instituation especially public universities isn’t such a great surprise to me as in that’s a fact shown since the year of indenpendence. Why I said like this? Lets see how the history changes the thought of a female pyscologically. During ancient time, when education is available, only males are allowed to study and to proclaim that they are more superior than females through education. Females back at hat time, only allowed to be married to men and take care of a family. No education, no louder voice and of course, one important point is cannot be superior than the husband. Those who did not get marry will be either in the category to work as maid, or some who don’t have any choice…will become protistute.

Of all these, only through good education and exposure can ensure female have the chance to voice out and to declare the equality of men and women. As now in modern days, more and more women or females have the chances to fight for the equity and honour. This will not only increase the numbers of females in education sectors, but also in other all-male-dominant jobs or field such as engineering and even politics!

And lets us go back to Malaysia and discuss why female is more than male in local IPTA. We have to look at other institution as well before we say that male percentage is low at IPTA and why? My brother himself study at ILP-Institut Latihan Perindustrian. In this kind of institution, we will notice the difference of ratio which is a total opposite from local IPTA. Male enrolment are more in these institution-ILP,Community College,Technique College and etc. And of course, of all these institution, most of the field of education are towards to industrial. And most (I say most, not all) female have less interest into these kind of field. When you walk into these institution, you will notice that the ratio of male/female in higher institution isn’t that low. It is just they are dispense so unequally due to the market demand.

The scenario in IPTA will be more female as in most of the male students are in some other higher institution and not in IPTA. Even in IPTA itself, we can see the different of ratio where male is higher at Engineering faculty or in Physics Faculty. These are another proves that the interest of male and female are not the same. How come the AP interviewed blame the successor of the female in education. Every different individual have different interest and most of the male develope more interest in other subject. And lets look at the ratio of male prisoner to female prisoner. I could not find a fix data that shown how is the percentage of prisoner of male to female. But there is once, when I am in a lecturer hall listening to my lecturer talk back at year 2005, there were more male prisoner than female in Malaysia. It means that it actually does make sense when we say that the ratio of male enrolment in IPTA is low. Most of them enrolled into the prison…!!! (OK..that’s what I am thinking…)

We cannot blame anybody for this. And we cannot say that we want to make sure more males are enrolled into IPTA as they have no interest to enter IPTA but other higher institution or one more, to prison! These are the reasons why male are becoming the extinct species in IPTA.

Demi Waktu

Artist: Ungu

Aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
Yang kini hadir diantara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang slama ini temani hidupku

Maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila ku bisa memilih

Kalau saja waktu itu ku tak jumpa dirinya
Mungkin semua tak kan seperti ini
Dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
Membawa aku dalam kehancuran

(Credit to : http://www.ilirik.com/ungu_–_demi_waktu.html Date Accessed: 3rd July 2008 )

Apabila manusia leka di saat gembira,

Masa berlalu tanpa di kira,

Dan di kala saat pilu,

Waktu terhenti bagaikan di beku.

(S.P. Lee)